Friday, May 30, 2003

yesterday....my com broke down....so couldn't update this lar....anyway, me spent e whole day studying physics lar.....den today a bit sadz...cuz me confirm fail le one....dunno how to do even the test was quite simple. anyway, today got interact meeting lor.....sianz...but quite fun and hilarious....the debrief session lar.....think melissa is really a great n friendly person.....all ex-co elects are not bad lor. ...den we went for dinner after the debrief session.....we went town....den i tink jelivin knows abt us le.....den he kept teasing me....so paiseh....kangyu they all also lor. And it was damn hilarious with kangyu and weibin.....really hope they get into exco as well lar.....hui yian and an qi was laughing like xiao also........hahaz.....den it was really fun. I'm feeling sick now lor....oh ya, we were supposed to go watch the hockey match today....but e bus left without us....so went student lounge to slack n play cards lor. ...hyahaz...quite fun lar....long time no play game le lar....tml is weilun cum mongyan bday celebration.....hope it will be fun.

Aerius rocks.....hahaz....today finally was the cheerleading competition lor.....anyway, i'm glad we finished it perfectly and guess what, we got 2nd for our routine....and we got 1st overall lar......hahaz.....i'm so happy lar....anyway, the onli thing on my mind is interact ex-co thingy lor.....hope i can get in lor......small hope but den cannot still help hoping lor. Hahaz....weiwei is so lucky lar,......not able to tell u why here.....but i really am glad for her lar. As for me, some people just cannot take a hint lar.......cora....if u are reading this....u will know what i am talking about....think i giving up liaoz....my life is meant to be like that one. History repeats itself......even though i try to prevent it.........u are so near me.....but yet so far.......sianz....what crap am i talking about?.....i also dunno.....i could be standing right in front of you....but u still dun know what i'm thinking. Sadz....i'm such a sadist lar......oh ya, my project was rejected lor....den now coming up with a new topic....sianz.......i'm so depressed now lor...under a lot of pressure lor......do u know?.....i guess u don;t lar......everyday in lessons...i'm just stoning away lor.....i dunno what the hell i am doing....sighz....why can;t i go to the zoo or go town walk walk.....cuz there's no time....and when there;'s time.....there's no one.....happiness is really subjective......one moment i was flying through the open skies......and i thought that something had happened....the next moment.......my hopes just dissappered into thin air.....and i guess you will never know....coz i will never tell you......hui dao guo qu

heyz.....today i reached home at 10 lor....maximum liaoz lar....haven do homework....come online.....sianz....dunno what is happening to me nowadays....hope that friday will come soon.....den will have time to do revision....lagging behind le. I am so afraid of my emotions now....hahaz....anyway, i just realised how out of control i can become....and i'm scared.....really scared. I dunno why everything is in a mess now.......and i hate myself for liking this kind of feeling. I am so dead lor......better pull myself out of the quicksand now....hope i can get into exco....i think confirm cannot lor. I so dead le lar......anyway, i guess i'm really glad to have wei wei as a fren in nj.....den i can always talk crap to her....and she dun mind lor. Anyway.....haahz....i know sum things about her.....can blackmail her....all i have to say is.....if u have a chance to say what u want to say.....say it lar....dun worry about anythong or anyone else. Ya lar....i was looking forward to going to the zoo lor....now not going le....i so sianz......sianz.....tomolo is sports day le....yeah....aerius rocks......hope we'll win.

haizz....i hate myself lar...i feel so surface and superficial now....why like cannot really be good frens with nj ppl one...except wei wei and a few others lar...wanna thank weiwei for listening me crap the whole day....cuz i needed to talk to sumone....to sort out my feelings....cuz i dunno what is happening now. I hope i will feel more focused in the nxt few days.....or else i die le lar....anyway, went to this stupid place to practise cheerleading dance....so fun but yet so tiring.....stilll a bit sad that din get into house rep......but i tink it's fate lar....too bad then...at least my gd fren weiwei got in lar. I juz learnt about sumthing shocking from irene....cannot say yet....but notheless shocking. Anyway, tomorrow got practice again....i debating whether i want to go or not. I think I should...coz friday is the sports meet....maybe i will go lar...so to feel less guilty lar. Missed a claz outing today...not that i was rather interested in going lar...when town juz now to but e costumes....sianzz...with weiwei and shiyan. I so shocked that shiyan attached before...i mean, she dun look as if she got attached before...she looks guai. But i guess, guai doesn;t mean cannot get attahced lar. Anyway, tomolo have to reach school at 6.45...sianz...for the interact thing...my grp is damn disorgainized....later we really cannot make it....we will be so dead lor.

heyz....hahaz....sumthing happened today...a bit difficult to explain online lar. anyway, woke up with a great dream...and pia homework all the way till 1....until irene mgs me about sumthing lar....den no mood to do homework le~.....den i called alan to ask him hows life....cuz i so long no talk to him liaoz....den he was like saying he hated his claz....hahaz....actually, my claz not bad but i prefer 18/03 or 4/1. Hahaz....too late le~....i will treasure 03s13 too laer.....maybe i will end up luvin it.......haahaz...sumtimes i do end up liking things that are unbelievanle. So, went out to J8....so mdm ng...damn paiseh....but she was nice....she recognizes me!!! Hahaz...her daughter and son really quite cute....haahz,,,,glad that she is ok....den lucky i din see jean lee.,,,i went to meet sumone....den i saw xiaoying and wenjie...hahaz. ...den i went with the person i met to eat....actualli it was drink...then a lot of things happen....den now i think of it.....its like a dream...so luan........hahaz....anyway, its good news for me lar...finally....e bright spark in my life has arrived. And i really wanna thank irene....haahz....treat her to dinner soon...glad to have such a friend lar....i laughed so much today cuz i really was happy and dunno a mixture of feelings...i still luan now....haahz

heyz...i'm in an ultra good mood today lar. Hahaz.....first time i miss 5 86 buses....all bcoz of that stupid weiji lar. Let me explain...me decided to go with 1803 they all to compass point lar....so me ask they all to wait for me across bustop from kfc....den went i went there, no one was there....so i saw this ajc gal....looking quite friendly.....den i ask her for her phone to put my sim card in....my phone battery went dead after like 1 hr.....sianz....so realized they all left le. so i forced weiji to get down the bus to wait for me in this stupid bustop....in dunno which ulu street lar....den when he went up the bus....he look so dao. Hahaz....but den he smiled a while later...and i knew everthing would be allright.....hahaz...i was crapping to him about my test lar....hahaz....den we laughed like siao in the bus.....hahaz....i really had fun talking to him....cuz his laughter is really contagious....i see him laugh.....i also feel like laughing coz he look so innocent....well...me shall nt go on anymore....anyway, had dinned at BK.....now me sick liaoz....tomolo gotta continue with tons and hw....so not going to claz outing le~........haahz...den went find a bag for blackie....so funny siaz.....anywway, really had fun lar. I gotto work hard this week lar.....i swear here....i think i will fulfill my promise....hahaz.....anywayz....i really am glad to have friends like irene they all....finally saw weilun le~.....yesh, we going out to celebrate his bday nxt week....hahaz....i so looking forward to it lar....haahz...anyway, today econs test was damn difficult lor....confirm fail le lar. Anywya, juz realized my chem relief teacher Ms Liu....is from anderson sec....haahz...went to school with her today....quite fun lar.....me tink she will make a gret teacher....too bad...she left today le.....hahaz....nitez for now

anyway, i've grown up a lot during the past one month....i think. Many things that used to bother me......i dun really care now....think i've finally put the past behind me now....should have done that eons ago but could not convince myself to. Anyway, well, i didn't get into house rep....at first i was a little upset lar.....partly disappointed....but after talking to wenjie and irene.....i realised how important friends are. Both of them sort of helped me get into a better mood.....and now, i'm no longer sad liaoz....really....i've cheered up a lot. That;s my character i guess....i bounce back easily from anything except some things lar. Hahaz....what the hell am i talking about now. anyway, screwed the maths test today....hopefully i will fail with flying colours....sianz....i have an econs test tomolo.....really damn scared coz i plannin to study dd and ss tomolo morning....i juz not in the mood lar. Anyway, weiwei and issac got in to house lar....and me truthfully happy for them....haahz....something is happening to weiwei....me always suan her.....i guess the same is happening to me though i not sure.....hai~....shan't talk about that again....later get myself messed up again. I think me gonna jump into the kallang river next week when my phone bill arrive........either i jump or i drown. Hahaz.....hope it will not be too high.....sighzz......getting poorer nowadays....and everyday survive on sandwiches.....so yucky. Anyway, i really very sian today....no mood to do anything....oh yah....wanna thank weiji for cheering me up too....and there's this benny in my gp claz.....he like know quite a lot of things...dunno how he know one. Hahaz....nitez

i cannot say too much now....hope me get into house rep tomolo lar.......i a bit nervous....tml got maths test....hope i will do well lar. Anyway, met up wif 1803 today and kena suan so many times.....sianz....but really fun lor. I really miss them a lot.....sianz....esp cora lar. Hahaz....later she so happy when she read this....anyway, tats all for today, i gtg le~

today is a damn tiring day....,,i reached home at like 9.30 pm lor....dmn tired now....haiz......dunno whether want to sleep or do physics lor....sianz....haiya, me really dun have the energy to do anything....i poned gp today....feel a little guilty. Anyway, went to the CO room with mingyong.....den saw so many instrument.....saw the cello....hahaz....cannot believe weiji can play it....it really look damn class lor. Hahaz.....anyway, the real reason why i come home so late was because i had cca....that interact club propoposl...do until me feel like jumping off building liaoz......haizzz....i really feel very messed up now....sumthing is happening to me now.....i will not say what it is....but i haven felt like this for a long time liaoz.......i a bit scared.......damn screwed liaoz. I hope that this doesn't mean anything....anyway, guess i will write it down when i'm ready lar. Die liaoz....if really true hor.....i am so dead liaoz....i hope that this feeling is wrong.......but i dun tink so lor. I really hope that my sixth sense is wrong lor. I guess I better go catch up on sleep liaoz...tomolo gt phy prac test.

haiz....today me poned interhouse cheerleading.....i was so sianz lar.....too tired to go n dance with them....seems so stupid also....hahaz...anyway, i had lunch speech today again and we did this mass dance which was really fun but tiring and stupid at the same time....me nothing to say about NJc's mass dance liaoz. Anyway, me, choonwei, issac and weiwei poned chem prac....haahz...anyway, we haf to make up sooner or later. Sianz....den i met irene they all for dunno lunch, tea or dinner....watever...at ajc.....saw wenjie today....hahaz....we behaved like 2 stupid bimbos. So funny siaz....i had a great time with irene they all....hahaz....we were talking about ex-co membership and jeremy and irene always keep talking as if they already in ex-co liaoz....so funny...sianz....my com keep breaking down....dunno for what reasons....so irritating. Maybe i will call wenjie to wish her a happy birthday....i dunno yet lar. I'm in an extremely good mood today...nafa is over...i passed....i so happy to juz pass...dun understand y ppl will aim for gold. Anyway, even if i aim for gold, i also cannot make it one lar.....so, why worry over unecessary things. Hai~~......jeremy and irene always have a vivid imagination.....i nothing to say about them liaoz....give up liaoz.......dun want to talk to them liaoz....hahaz.

today is a funfilled mugging day.........juz kidding lar...woke up and slacked in front of the television......damn shuang. Tomolo is monday again...now i know the meaning of monday blues liaoz.....it is a great expression nowadays for me. Anyway, i am busy mugging for the maths and econs test....lucky this weekend not much tutorials or i tonite no need to sleep liaoz. anyway, it is just amazing that people in NJ dun study but can maintain their grades....it is absurd....either they mug at home or they are juz smart. Hai!!.....thou shall not bother with people like that.....it is too incredible. Anyway, i guess i learnt a lot in NJC. maybe my mum is right...the world is so large when you get to see it. I realized the world is so large....there are all kinds of people out there....and you have no choice but to adapt. Though i may sound quite pessimistic....i've come to realise the importance of true friends in life. Friends that stick by you no matter what happens....friends that are there when you need to talk....and friends who message u lame mgs to cheer u up. I really treasure them.....juz hoping the bright spark in life will be coming soon...or else i really cannot make it.....but now, all e best in econs and maths.

I went to school at 7 a.m in the morning....to practise house cheerleading den got interact club.....anyway, me got an mc from the doctor yesterday....so sort of poned college day....hahaz....i was very tired anyway. Anyway, den i went to town and meet wenjie they all....to celebrate her bday lar....she liked my gift quite a lot....a dream catcher.....so long never see them....really had fun today with them lar....but felt a little guilty for not going college day....hai~...anyway, reached home quite late lar....but feel enrgetic of a sudden lar......hahaz....now i'm rushing my proposal....hope it wun be rejected again. I have come to a conclusion today....i'm going to let all things let nature take it's course.....

i am so tired now lar....juz ate medicine for my cough and flu....dun worry, not sars.....den really giddy and drowsy now lar......i not going college day tomolo cuz i have a mc from the doctor....lucky i got one from him. Anyway, in addition to my flu...i juz dun feel like going to college day....i am so tired lor....no mood lar. anyway, today was suppose to have cheerleading practice one....but only a pathethic 5 ppl turned up.....realkly dunno why sum ppl can be so irresponsible....anyway, i dun think vic likes me....she acts as if everything is my fault....when it really isn;'t lor. Or maybe i'm just too sensitive lar. Hahaz. ...i dunno lar...now i am in a state of disarray...helping weiji with physics....so funny siaz....tink both of us will fail. haahz....me trying my best to explain to him...so funny...cuz me flipping through textbk lar....Hahaz...tink i will rest early cuz i really not feeling well and feel drowsy now lar.....i hate it that me muz go back to school for cca....damn busy during cca elections now...hahaz...me today and weiwei went to vote liaoz...hhaz..we vote for ourselves, chun wei and issac....hahz...a little regret not voting for christine....but well....chun wei they all did the pole dance for the lunch speech...den it was damn hilarious lar....hahaz....never knew they were such good comedians. I miss ajc again...this feeling never gets away.....why does this happens....but anyway, i've adapted quite well lar......i;m glad that my frens at ajc still keep in contact.....cuz i dunno what i will do if we din keep in contact. Also, not to forget my sec school frens....really thank wenjie and esther for being there for me....

i am so tired now lar....juz ate medicine for my cough and flu....dun worry, not sars.....den really giddy and drowsy now lar......i not going college day tomolo cuz i have a mc from the doctor....lucky i got one from him. Anyway, in addition to my flu...i juz dun feel like going to college day....i am so tired lor....no mood lar. anyway, today was suppose to have cheerleading practice one....but only a pathethic 5 ppl turned up.....realkly dunno why sum ppl can be so irresponsible....anyway, i dun think vic likes me....she acts as if everything is my fault....when it really isn;'t lor. Or maybe i'm just too sensitive lar. Hahaz. ...i dunno lar...now i am in a state of disarray...helping weiji with physics....so funny siaz....tink both of us will fail. haahz....me trying my best to explain to him...so funny...cuz me flipping through textbk lar....Hahaz...tink i will rest early cuz i really not feeling well and feel drowsy now lar.....i hate it that me muz go back to school for cca....damn busy during cca elections now...hahaz...me today and weiwei went to vote liaoz...hhaz..we vote for ourselves, chun wei and issac....hahz...a little regret not voting for christine....but well....chun wei they all did the pole dance for the lunch speech...den it was damn hilarious lar....hahaz....never knew they were such good comedians. I miss ajc again...this feeling never gets away.....why does this happens....but anyway, i've adapted quite well lar......i;m glad that my frens at ajc still keep in contact.....cuz i dunno what i will do if we din keep in contact. Also, not to forget my sec school frens....really thank wenjie and esther for being there for me....

11:03 PM

Thursday, May 15, 2003

I am damn bu shuang now lar.....why people always take me as a substitute onez.....hmmmmppphhh. This time is really bu shuang liaoz....stressed also....finished 2 essays in 1 hr....incredible...maybe still haf hope for econs lar. Hahaz...i went to rehears the cheer for interhouse thingy today....damn funny as chun wei and issac were doing the pole dance....Stupid lar....all the elects are so nice lor....actually hope all will get in but den impossible lar. Anyway, tomolo is friday....yay...i can finally get to rest....sat is college day...so sian....feel like poning but cannot....sianz

11:09 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Heyz....my speech went quite well lar....den the questions a bit tricky but me think i did okay lar.....that stupid indian guy...dunno ask what question lar....hopefully, me, issac, chun wei and weiwei can make it....though i may not cuz i dun know a lot of ppl in my house. Haiya, tink i will worry nxt week when the results cum out lor....all the best lar. Today was definitely the best day of the week....coz i got to have a gathering with 1803...they rocks.....i really miss them lar. Time seems to pass so fast when we are together.....life really suxs lar......i mean, good things always end so fast. We went to pizza and eat...told lame jokes and weiji was damn slow lar....he cannot make it lar....hahaz.....he will suan me like siao if he sees what i write. I'm glad most of us has adapted really well into our own jcs.....aj uniform real nice lor.....too bad me nv get to wear it.....hai~ Nevermind lar......still can meet up as all in s'pore what.....even if dif countries...still on the same earth lar.

11:44 PM

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

I'm freakin out now......i still have dunno how many hours till my speech......i'm really scared lor. If tomolo everyone give me that 'duh' look.....i will die of embarrasment lorz. I decided to go all out tomolo as since i have already cum so far to being a house rep......i shld die die also give it my best shot. Anyway, me really suck at maths lar....dun even understand trigo lor.....that stupid lecturer....word so small.....talk so soft....dunno how cum MOE let him be teacher lar....cannot make it lor. either he cannot or I cannot make it. Heyz....the econs and chem test is over....hahaz....shld be able to pass lar.....hope so....NJ test so hard one....sumore so little time....i too anxious to do any homework now lar......shall rest a bit early today....sianz diao....tml got physics test....mr tay say dun need to study...sure fail one. ...i tink i will fail also lar....i mean, my physics suxs lar. ....honestly! Anyway, tomolo is finals table tennis match amongst HCJC and NJC........though i think we will most prob lose........NJC's team still rocks lar.......swee lee and qixian are really damn great players lor.....i was so surprised they could play so well lar.....looking forward to tomolo...a little excited about my speech....it's like onli 20 secs lor....hahaz....den me given 2 min....siao liaoz........haiya, heck care liaoz lar.....at most dun get in lar......at least got try my best lar.

10:51 PM

Monday, May 12, 2003

heyz......qixian and swee lee rocks....guess what, there was supposed to be a chem test today....but we missed it lar. Hahz.....even though haf to make up tomolo, i'm still very happy. Our class officially got permission drom e school to go chung cheng sec to watch the table tennis match lar.....sianz.....that school was damn big....a bit cheena.....hahaz....wonder how come government invest so much money into the school...den why anderson sec must slog like hell....to raise so many funds lar.....bias siaz. Hahaz, today weibin like so enthused....so funny. I just remebered me haven do my campaign speech......i die liaoz.....i will go n make a fool out of myself lar....how arh?....anyway, me real looking forward to wed....got gathering with 1803......hahaz.....i sometimes feel i go NJC juz to study only....den my heart is still with AJC and anderson sec school....Ironic huh?.....but i guess i wun be too happy if i stay at ajc as they all change classes liaoz.....think i am happy in this way. Yup, NJC beat RJC......so happy....we go finals liaoz.....that RGC guy that lost was crying......den a few of them was damn irritating.....kept shouting....hahaz....but anyway, they put in a lot of effort lor. We juz won by a bit only lar.......hope all of them can come on wed lar....hope i can also make it lar....oh ya, my project proposal is done liaoz....so happy and relieved.

10:35 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2003

I'm so gld coz my com is repaired liaoz....finally manz. Hai~.....i have a stupid chem test tomolo....pray for the best cuz i studied 3 hrs straight yesterday....den spent 2 hrs doing econs essay....dunno how to go for a levels like that.....cannot make it. Anyway, i have quite a lot to say now. I have a piece of good news.....charles called me that day to say that me got in the 9ppl for house reps....now start to campaign liaoz....i'm a bit scared lar....hope me n weiwei can get into top 6.....me designed my poster liaoz.....look not bad lar...hope ppl will feel the same lar. I having my speech on wednesday....damn freaked out......i guess i'm more enthu in school activities now....everyday dun have the mood to do homework....since it;s not able to be finished lar. Anyway, i am going to work hard tml onwards.....den i can enjoy myself with 1803 on wed when we go out. I really looking forward to see them lar. Anyway, met wenjie and xiaoying for lunch yesterday....had quite fun and really saw another side of xiaoying....the in love side. She seems rather blissful and happy. Though a bit bu shaung....hahaz.....still wish her all e best wif pqq. Oh yes, i hope our interact proposal will be approved by mon....or else later have to redo den i really sianz diao.......i'm so sick of life now...nothing to look forward to one......guess i;m not a person suitable for changes

10:21 PM

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

heyz....now is lunch break again. Thank god it's a wednesday liaoz.....i am at the library again to do my ex-co proposal....sianz diao....i feel so tired every single day lar....think something is wrong with me liaoz.....still haven get used to the jc life yet. Anyway, Jelvin mgs me yesterday about the interact proposal thingy....shocked that he already completed his.....next time i see weiji, muz ask him about jelvin...heard they both were quite good friends. Anyway, it is really amazing....i have not been eating fast food for the past few weeks liaoz....a bit feel like eating. anyway, i have a slight cough now and i'm not feeling really well nowadays......sick of everything lar. Weiwei should be eating in the canteen now.....poor me hiding in the NJ library....i have a house rep interview later....think i'm going to die liaoz.......haven get ready yet. Anyway, tomorrow have to meet the interact ppl again....have to see eugene...so sickening. Hahaz...hope he doesn't see this. Also, think i already flunk my gp test yesterday.....i really so dead with 3 tests next week Stressed!

10:47 AM

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Okay....now is during lunch break....my com at home has broke down.,....guess i wun be able to update it for a while....me now rushing like mad to type down everything....well, i got into ex-co...which is one good news but then there will still be a selection project....sianz diao.....this guy whom me and weiwei bu shuang is damn irritating....his name is eugene......hahaz......he wun see this...so i can crap about him for all he care. Anyway, me later got gp test....die liaoz...sure fail one...oops....bell ring liao....update this tomolo...gd luck with gp.

1:03 PM

Thursday, May 01, 2003

I AM REALLY GAINING WEIGHT.....yesterday ate seoul garden....taoday ate dim sum buffet....really die liaoz....i'm so damn tired and guess what, tomolo got PE. Sianz diao liaoz.....anyway, danielle and mingyan take off liaoz....mingyan gave her a ring....hahaz....me so envioius...juz jokin onli lar....think really must go SDU with jingwei liaoz. Later cora see this, confirm suan me one. Hahz....really glad today cora got come.....it's nice to see her and the rest. I really miss all of them lar.....but den some of them dun like their class, while some really like theirs. I;m glad all of us has adapted larz. Truthfully speaking, i'm really shocked mingyan would do such a drastic thing...tot he was quite lagging one.....'bei dong' kind. Anyway, we crapped in the restaurant and really said lame things until jeremy came lar. Then we walkied around a bit and I saw weixin they all lar.....they were sitting and annex slacking away.....I got home pretty late and really dun feel like doing hw now lar.......so sianz. It's going to be a loong day tomolo....i'm so sad. I need a life.....i need something to keep me going....but i dun know what it is. Anyway, wenjie bday cumin liaoz......gotto buy present,

10:32 PM

Hahaz....today was really a damn fun day. I had my ex-co interview....so screwed lor.....i think they didn't really like me.....stupid...the questions were all damn difficult....me really die liaoz. Anyway, had dinner at seoul garden SG with alan, azhari, steph, peiying....first time alan organize outing lar.....quite fun and we had this stupid fried rice competiton....my PW group really sucks.....regret not treassuring my sec 2 PW grp. It was really nice to see all of them again....realized I really missed them. I cannot explain what I really felt just now during dinner. A mixture of emotions.....sad?....regret?.....happy?.....guess it's all about that. I feel so guilty after eating so much ice-cream;.....and ice kachang there.....gotto go work it out. Haha. Anyway, I have 2 essays to compete by fri....i'm so dead lar......so sad. Anyway, I wish alan all the best in his project and really think that the few of us didn't really change even after 4 yrs. I don't think we will though....but think we will be more mature lar. Hahaz....it's so sad to think that all my good friends are in different schools and jcs....perhaps it's for the best....den i will miss them more lar. Anyway, want to say sorry to alan fior suaning him on his english....hope he wun mind. Real looking forward to tomo as there is a 1803 gathering. Hahaz.

10:15 AM