Friday, September 30, 2005

i am going to buy a mini fridge for my room this weekend...heez, planning to stay in hall for the next yr too and i cant stand communal fridges so decided to invest in a mini fridge to put my stuff...finally can drink cold water and cold fruits liaoz....haha, den my room will be completed and my dad has decided to buy one for me...yay.

phy and maths results are out. not too bad but i got to pia my econs now liaoz....arghh....40 mcq test tmr....goodness.

when will my fridge come?

done with maths test...hmm, not too bad la...at least it was better than phy test though....so feeling happier now and not as stressed up liao. econs test this sat with 40 mcqs....sigh, to think i thought last yr i wld never go back to econs again.

come to think again, i actually liked econs. it made the most sense to me but yet, i went ahead to chem engine coz haha, i followed the norm...indeed, chem eng is definitely stressful but i will prove to myself that i can do it de ya? no matter how hard i have to try, will never give up.

think i will rest and relax today, shall be listening to webcast lecture tmr morning...hehez.....hmm, quite a slack day tmr....so happy that 2 tests over le...2 more to go and 2 more projects....busy mugger nowadays....

i just screwed my physics last fri evening, now i fully understand what ming yong meant by studying hard is not the right way to do well in uni...haiz, nvm la, maybe next time i'll do better. though i have a feeling my maths on mon may be screwed as well....it had better not be that way, i nid a hope badly now.

in mugging mode now. oh, swimming training on sat is really fun, fully understand the meaning now of enjoying a sport that i have passion about...and i look super duper dark now....oh no...haha, shuang will say i acting sporty....haha.....my com is lagging....arghh....stupid, one more irritating thing in my life now.....

to ming yong: happy early bday la...girls, let meet up soon....haha

i just love craig david's latest album...the songs are really quite nice, like the kind i usually listen to. oh ya, ppl, go download winamp on your laptop as can listen to US and UK radio stations where the DJs don't yak away the whole day...and can listen to music in peace...

got lots of sleep over these few days, my friends in NUS all say i look more radiant...haha, enough sleep is liddat de...happy to have enough rest, last week was a nightmare....will be busy for the next 2 weeks

phy test in 5 hrs time....praying hard that i'll do okay in it...haha, yes, i worried about my phy....

i'm bored, stuck in gwen's room mugging for phy, 15 mcqs and we are so hardworking...haiz, lifeless hols this time round....i want 4 more days of holidays...sigh, damn tired liaoz.....feels like a levels again...whoever said that uni life would be more slack, that person can go and knock his head against the wall.

will prob be busy nxt 2 weeks with 4 tests and 1 projects coming up.....sigh, damn tired liao lor....plus swimming trainings, driving lessons and tuition, the most horrendous as my student going to have exams le....2 more weeks....i have to endure...jiayouzz

oh no, gwen is stuck onto her bed and the shelf....muhaha

hilda: i will check out the com stuff for u this fri

now at home, beginning to wonder why i chose to stay in hall when my home is so comfy and i can concentrate better...haha, guess i'll take my words back when sem starts and i have to lug my big back to and fro from school, can just imagina how tired i'll be everyday but still, home is so comfy now...

phy really sucks lor, wondered where my a level stuff went to...think i'm suffering from amnesia le la, seemed to have forgotten so much stuff or maybe i never did remembered them in the 1st place. yest was fun, cHess com 1st meeting, quite crappy and meeting with the s13 girls, happy belated bday baozie....i missed you guys so much, promise to myself tio make time for all my old frens, cafe cartel was yummy.

went to the optics juz now to make a new pair of glasses, and met my senior who's the optician....oh mans, so qiao lor, and now, i have to go back again to check if there's anything wrong with the opening of that the back of my eye, haiz, she says its quite serious and i cant wear contacts for now, oh well, i'll just look uglier...haha

i'm feeling okay now liao, thanx to hilda, wenjie and yeewoon for listening to me...and i guess i shld channel my energy into more productive stuff than drownin in my misery and how pathetic i am. so for the next week, me shall study hard and catch up on my mathe and physics. oh ya, tmr going to celebrate baoz bday and so excited coz haven met the girls in eons liaoz....tmr have a comm meeting as well and wed project discussion. other than that, shall be mugging all the way i guess, sad life. haha, 4 tests coming up, i muz keep up and find back my determination.

i'm dying inside....falling apart...breaking down by the sadness that overcomes me...sleepless nights....but yet, i still think it is worth. think someone should just shoot me...or pass me a gun. i'll do it myself.

finally done with my CTW critique....feeling pretty satisfied and hope i'll do well with it....35% of my grade, madness....have been bothered by it since sunday and lost much sleep over it.

i can't seem to fall asleep, didn't sleep at all last night. Suffering from what i call huiling's isomnia where i looked like shit today's morning. All my chem eng frens were asking me if i didn't sleep last night...and can't seem to be happy today....my smile is the mask that shields me from the rest of the world.

i wished i could go home tmr nite, i miss everything about my home.....missing the feeling of being loved and cared for.....i need to get out of NUS...pasir panjang road.

beneath my strong exterior, i am actually breaking down inside...piece by piece, i feel myself starting to fall apart. I didn't mean to sound pissed to everyone but why cant some of them leave me alone... i don't know how i am going to pull through mid sem but i know i will.

bobby: i know u are nt reading this but thanks so much for the support u have given and all the time you have spent listening to me....reminding me to study, to finish my assignment and to drink chicken essence and to ask me to mug together.

alone.

2 tests and 1 critique due this week, oh my, dunno how i am going to survive with this week being buaya week and captains treat on tues....going mad doing CTW just when i thought i was done with GP in jc, this is worse than a nightmare. gu ys coming to engineering, haha, better brush up on ur language skills ba.....haiz....thinking of going to the central library to mug now.....i cant really study in my room, later will fall asleep but i am just to lazy to drag myself to the library.....haha, maybe i can concentrate in my room? haiz, should be slacking in my room then.

today is a sad day, everything also do alone...initially thought that wun have to study alone but oh wells....but i've decided that nothing will distract me from doing anything now.....not even people who matters to me and i'm going to concentrate on what i have to do. haha, jiayou ba huiling.

oh ya, got back my ctw summary, it was not too bad....heng ah....at least i better put in more effort for my critique, it's worth alot more marks.

Something super drastic just happened, my biscuit tin feel on my laptop and now there's a dent....oh my, i am so super super sad now......my brand new laptop has a stupid dent......and really pissed off.....haiz, helped up in being a referee just now, haha, quite fun and perhaps going to help out again on fri if they need people.

very pissed about some stuff now, why does it always have to end up this way? maybe its my fault as i'm so stressed with school that i flare up at people around me or maybe i just need more attention. I'm really tired of everything liaoz, should just ignore everything and bury myself in my notes....

why is it that when you need support, you don't get it and instead, feel so alone. Just leave me alone.

look at the time now, my body clock is already programmed to sleeping at 3 am everyday...can only work effectively in the night as it;s the only time i'll be alone. feeling quite guilty this weekend as didn't get much work done, so will be making up for it by late nights. keep telling myself that i have to be focused on what i want...instead of getting distracted all the time. should believe in myself that i have the ability to do so and muz keep up with the determination that i used to have in jc.

7 mths of not studying has made me abit rusty....my phy really cannot make it...compared to the people in my course, gotta buck up. isn't my life pathethic? all about tutorials and mugging, sometimes i even wonder where my life is heading to...i'm so caught up in so much stuff that i cant hardly breathe....i nid 48 hrs a day....and i'm not getting it.

perhaps i just need to prioritise. to do what i think is best for myself. I know and i will do it. I just miss the old life i used to have before uni...i hope all my frens in uni are having fun...

i got locked out today......pissed off.....long story but i got locked out....haha, btw, cheerleading for ibg today was super fun la.....and though we looked stupid initially, but i think all of us did a great job wor!!! haha, block c roxs and IBG is finally over....whew.....but there's swimming training tmr. i am goin to be a black kid soon in a matter of time.....haiz.

2 tests in 2 weeks time, pretty scared as i'm sort of lagging behind....i keep doing tutorials but yet, don't seem to be able to finish....sigh, when will i be done....i'm such a mugger.....haha.....i'm so tired lately.....wishing that i had 48 hrs a day...

met weiz today...haha, really miss her alot...too bad i cant go tmr, u guys have fun and paiseh for not coming, girls, meet up soon ya? miss u all lots.