GLAMOUR SHOTS

Sunday, February 29, 2004

.......

Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip?
In this strange relationship
You push and pull me again
'Till I'm about to lose my mind
Is this just a waste of time?

Keep acting like you own me
I keep running watch me walkin' out that door
I hear you behind me

Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong

I keep holding on

Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on

I'm already gone

Do you love me? yeah....
We break up and back together
And I swear to myself never
But oh how you do me yeah....
You strip me of my honor
And I don't ever think I'm gonna

Break free of these mind games
All I'm tryin' to do is modify my plan
Cause I can't contain you....

Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong

I keep holding on

Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on

I'm already gone

You keep acting like you own me
Like you control me
You said you never really wanted me back
Well maybe that's a fact
May I suggest a brand new plan of attack
And in defense of that
You're hard to crack
You're way off track
I want you back
I want you gone
Maybe I'm sick of holding on

Do you love me? yeah...
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?

Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong

I keep holding on

Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on

I'm already gone

2:43 PM

........

i'm back from the bbq le...it was realli fun lar...lugging that ice box around with a cake inside with ice is definitely not so fun...hahaz.....anyway, we tried starting that stupid fire.....and weiji was an expert on it lar.....hahaz....i was juz helping out......then since we din book any pit, we had to change it like 2 times coz ppl were coming lar......hmm.....everyone was havin fun i guess......den we ate lar.....with that small pathethic fire.....and we suaned blackie.....the cake tasted ok....hahaz...not bad too...hope cora liked the stupid card i made for her......we played the handsign game too...juz that some ppl lacked the amt of coordination......hahaz....damn funny la....most of the time, i was standing in front of the pit bbqing......shuang sia.....it was so late by the time we left, irene lost her wallet with something reallio impt and sentimental in it.....we realli tried to find....but no avail......i din know what to say so i was quiet....all of us took a cab home and the taxi driver was mad lor....and i mean it....he kept turning over and talking so loudly.....and it was lk midnoght liao...... we were both so freaked out by then.......but alas, we gt home safely and hope that some kind soul will find irene wallet and return it

i guess at a certain part of the bbq......something struck me.......coz we were sitting near the beach....and jeremy and weiji were tokin abt their classes....jeremy din seem too happy.......and weiji sounded sian......i guess in life, everything needs adapting.....and looking at the brighter side of things....i dunno lar.....juz lk me wah, now i find my claz quite hilarious......but i really misss all my first 3 mths frens lar....glad that we are stll so shou with one another

have you ever experienced standing next to a person that u have alot to say to, but yet you dun know what to say?......and the silence between both of you is so tense that you know you wun be able to break it......have you ever cared about a person...only to know that the person doesn't even care about your existence.....i dunno lar.....maybe i thought too much......maybe i shou;dn't even think about it.....coz i've been throught this once a long time ago....and i know that this is the only way out...

9:42 AM

Friday, February 27, 2004

...........

the cake looks great...hahaz...shuangz and weiz came my house to bake the cake....as usual, i was slackin at a corner while weiz was e expert.......and shuangz too....thanx so much for helpin....and want to thank lianne for giving me the coffee wine....it's so damn nice lar.....ok, but hope the cake tastes nice lar.....had a rather fun time going paragon to the supermarket and eating kfc for dinner...hahaz...and crapped....i;'m so looking forward to tml......my first 3 mths clique ppl having bbq....hahaz....how ironic, after o levels results release.....hahaz....anyway, shall tell u all what happened in chem prac today....can qualify as the yr joke...

we were doing chem prac...den jieli shouted...he added aluminium into the solution and effervescence occured.....hahaz....den he shouted that he was in pain...and gwee lk was so damn calmed....and the whole scene was so damn hilarious.....everyone treated it as a joke...pity that MING HONG din get scalded.....hahaz....i was so hoping...ok, i am evil...but see how he treats me...i swear that guy is a loser and a weakling....hahaz...:)

but i kinda like my claz ppl now lar....esp the gals....we realli \crapped lk siao lor.....ironic but sumtimes, time can change everything......ppl may change....u learnt to adapt i guess...that;s one gd thing abt everyone....haahz...anyway, i gtg make a card for cora le....her bday is tml....ciao

10:51 PM

Thursday, February 26, 2004

....

the o levels results are coming out tml....here's a shoutout to all of u out there....gd luck and hope u all wun be too nervous......still can remember last yr.....the day before the results were released, me and some of my first 3 mths ppl went to sentosa....yes, we poned school to go to sentosa....and no, i din go to school that day.....hahaz....it feels as if it;s juz yesterday when we got our results....time has realli flown past and now, 1 yr is over......and my life is reduced to such a meaningless state...pathethic as i feel drained and tired everyday.....jc life is realli the worse part of the education system......mugging day in and out and sleeping late and sleepless nights.....i guess....having a major maths test tml.....i know i shouldn;t be here blogging but still.....haiz......screw the ppl who set the common test timetable....phy and econs on one day.....maths and chem on the next....what the......how are we going to survive....i have realli no idea......anyway, i was realli nervous at this time of last yr.....abt results lar....but waiting in the anderson sec sch hall for such a long time made us not nervous by the time we received out results.....but all my frens did pretty well lar....so, i'm kinda glad......anyway, gotta go have an early slp le lar......:)

10:17 PM

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

......

The only perfection in this world is flaw itself.......

9:48 PM

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

......

now at the bytes at school....hahaz....gp teacher is absent so have a free period....sihui beside me doing her maths tutporial.....i feel a little guilty but hahaz...i'm planning to slack all e way......until the physics test later ba.....i think i din have enough sleep last night....that's y i am so damn tired nw.....well.....today was sian as usual.....i juz realise i cant do any homework in school......not at all.....i juz end up sleeping....i slept 2 times today le lor.....hahaz....is that gd or bad......serene is playing friendster nxt to me....hahaz....and guess what, we found eric's friendster account.....hahaz....

2:54 PM

Monday, February 23, 2004

....

phy test tml....when will all these tests ever end.....damn looking forward to friday....hahaz...4 more days to go...the 03s13 girls may be cumin to my house...but may go out also....see how ba.....i'm getting to like my claz gals more and more lar....and our claz is becoming more crappy....which is good as it makes time fly faster.....hhaz.....anyway, gotta mug :)

10:28 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2004

......

din wanna post anything today lar....but guess decided to change my mind and decided to post before i go for my sleep....hahaz......tml is chem test....but guess i studied le.....so shld nt be much of a problem.....

anyway, to mich: realli sorry for all that u have gone through lar....i can do nothing but to provide u with a listening ear.....and i hope u are better now le.....after i heard what happened, i suddenly feel that alot of of stuff are insignificant.....compared to more important stuff lar......so, i guess i've suddenly realised what's most important to me which is my family and friends lar.

stayed at home the whole weekend as had a slight flu.....mugging the whole wk but went out for dinner wif family juz now....hahaz.....anyway, juz tok to a fren a the phone....he seems confused.....he likes this girl but he wants to take things slowly....as in, he doesn't want to get attached even though they like each other.....i guess, kinda tok to him for quite long.....i realli he tink he is confused.....i'm not sure whether he even likes the girl as in really like her......if he realli likes her, shouldn't he be not feeling this way?....

i guess in my world....there are some couples who realli like each other and get together.....but for some, they juz do so for the sake of doing so.....and when everything ends, there are some who just can't get over but there are some who get over so easily......it's worse if one party is serious and the other party is not....hahaz...why am i toking about this now.....like so insignificant now.....guess i began to start wondering after i toked to him.....i wish him all e best lar......this fren of mine is realli a great person....any girl will be lucky if he falls for you.....hahaz...perhaps now is not the right time for him lar....

can 2 ppl like each other but yet not be together?......i am not sure....will the feeling burn out?....perhaps time will tell......that's what someone told me......but time also heals all emotional scars.....that;s quite true cause i've been through it once.....i guess currently, i like things the way they are and i dun realli want any changes.....i like juz going to school....have some fun stoning and laughing with my claz ppl......den go out on wkends with my sec 4 and jc 1st 3 mths frens......and juz go to slp.....and not think about anything......sian, but at least i can become oblivious to alot of things....to not have too much emotional fluctuations....and concentrate on what matter to me most.

to you: hey, hope you get well soon from ur fever lar.....

11:23 PM

........

hey ppl, this is a realli nice song....shld go download it
oh ya, congrats to hilda who came in 2nd in talentime!!!

Too lost in you - sugarbabes
You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break this spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
ooh

Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind, ohh

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

12:24 AM

Friday, February 20, 2004

...

today was a self satisfying day.....we ran 2.4 km during PE lor....what a nightmare today.....but quite glad at my timing la......don't even aim high for it anyway.....but was damn tired after that lar......lessons was as usual stupid and boring lor......felt lethargic the whole day......want to thank si hui for running the last lap with me....realli give me motivation and touched me lor.....thanx a lot ger.......anyway, chem prac was ok today for once.....the reactions were relatively simpler this time round......but gwee's explanation was really long as usual....i almost fell asleep lor....but din realli dared to.....and was playing with the stressball that jiawen gave.....realli like that gift lor....helps to destress sometimes....anyway, i'm beginning to think that i'm a totalli evil person....to a certain extent......i am rather bu shuang with someone......and i try to tok as less as possible to that person coz i dun want to blow my top....but actually, i kinda think that person is quite nice....just that i can;t stand some parts of that person.....am i evil?....i dunno

oh ya, what do you do when u agreed to meet some people and they don't turn up and dun even inform you.....and you tried calling them.....and you discovered one of them was at home?.....well, this happened to me today....i dunno whether if they told me and i din hear but i was kinda waiting like an idiot lar.....so when i called and realise one of them was home......i just kind of hung up....i didn't know what to say and i didn;'t wanna fell pathethic.......maybe i just need some time alone....anyway, reached home at 5 plus and slept lk 2 hrs?.....damn fufilling and i'm going to slack a little today ba......hahaz....i think i deserve it......

to hilda: i'm sorry i cant be there to support you during talentime but do your best k?

9:09 PM

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

.....

If evil means to be self-motivated,
to be the center of one's universe,
to live in one's own terms,
then every artist, every thinker, every original mind,
is evil.
---- white oleander, janet fitch

10:52 PM

......

i'm damn pissed now...my blog entry got deleted!!!!!!!!now i haf to rewrite....stupid or not....hmmm....went to school today and changed into my sec sch uniform....looked kinda weird lar....but went to meet our junior claz.....hahaz...started the angel mortal game with them....it was damn fun as jiaxuan wanted to swopped partners....i was enjoying saying no and smiling....it can be interesting to see how desperate guys can get.....anyway, den had a farewell thingy in the hall for the vp ms kwa.....quite sad lar but i was sleeping throughout....so bad hor.....yup, den i woke up miraculously during the dance performance and i was amazed.....they were so graceful......i can nv be like that i guess....and came to econs lesson....that stupid minghong is in my group......and i sort of turned red when they were requesting him to be in my group....but it was due to anger...not shyness k......muz make sure,.,.....yup....and he;'s in my grp and my econs tutor thinks we are kind of together.....win liao....i jump into the river also useless......den went out with weiz after school....i bought loads of stuff lor....so happy....hahaz....and we ate kfc, slacked, laughed and crapped lar....it was kinda fun today as we kepy diaoing couples in school uniform la.....it's a miracle that we din get beaten up....anyway, to michelle: sorry counldn't meet u today,.....i had to meet my tutor......

10:51 PM

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

........

i'm in love with this chinese song....i've posted the lyrics below...hahaz....die liao....the song song keeps running in my head....the title is 'jian ao'.....hahaz.....anyway, i'm so looking forward to tomorrow....coz no cca....little lessons due to the ms kwa farewell...comtemplating whether to pon school or not....but tink i'm going tomolo...hahaz.....i'm so sick of school lately lor....like see no point in everyday...always looking to the weekend.....win liao lor.....hmm, nothing much to say today lar.....so ciao

ni shi fo du wo de gan jue
shuo zhou que bu she de diao tao
wo bu gai ai de tai jue
rang ni wo ru ci nan guo
wei he wo ai de yi qie
dou mei you jie guo.....

9:30 PM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

.....

Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don't let me talk of something else
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall for someone else
It's you I want to fall in love with.

10:04 PM

Saturday, February 14, 2004

.......

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL......hahaz....hope all of us had a fun day....anywayz....the day started off with me going to turf city......to run cross country....hahaz...damn sian...hahaz...but we strolled the whole journey....which was kinda fun lar....den sihui came in top lor....kaoz....she is so zai lor....i realli feel proud for her....and happy too coz her passion for running has not been wasted....she realli deserve it after so much training....i realli admire her determination....i will nv have that determination....at least, not towards running.....hahaz.....yupz....den went for lunch with the my claz ppl to eat....hahaz...the guys were quite happy to receive gifts from us girls.....hahaz....we were even more surprised yesterday when we each got a flower....hahaz...miracles do happen....i guess.....

yup, den went back to school for co lor....i was realli damn tired liao lor....haiyo.....3 hrs there lor.....but before co, went with jael to bath in the toilet....more lk baoz, mingyong and me were waiting there....wow....she looked hot in that heels and short skirt....hahaz....rather envious of her toned legs....haiz....hahaz....shall not elaborate....but den after that went shopping at the supermarket lor....bought loads of fruit juice and yummy things to eat at home when mugging....hahaz...in case anyone wants to know....hahaz...i'm dateless today....sad hor....but den i dun feel anything....felt rather happy and peaceful today.....i wasn sitting down in the bus listening to songs and looking out of the window.....and i was thinking.....it will be realli nice to go out on valentines day with the person u like.....and then i saw this guy gave his gf roses.....hahaz...i guess everyone hopes to receive a stalk of rose from sumone u like ba....hahaz....but den i wasn;'t realli jealous or anything....more lk envious....hahaz....but i believe there;s a time and place for everything.....so try to console myself that valentines day is a day that is overhyped and overrated....but i still wish that al;l the couples out there have fun today.......

ps. oh ya, thanx to michelle, wenjie, hilda, jiawen and to 03s13 gals and guys....thanx 4 e valentines day gift k.....

"If he doesn't love you in the way that you want him to, it does not mean that he doesn't love you with all that his heart."

10:40 PM

Thursday, February 12, 2004

.......

Valentine's day is cumin....hahaz....feeling kinda sappy....and the feeling of love is in the air....hahaz....i heard this song on tv that day....and i tot the song is so sweet lor....juz the right song tor valentine's day....so, i decided to post the lyrics here

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever.. oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through but
Nothings gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you
If you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
he world may change my whole life through but
Nothings gonna change my love for you

10:24 PM

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

.....

the days are getting endlessly long....and i have no idea why....tutorials seems to be dragging on forever.....haiz....my onli hope is the clock on top of the wall.....hoping that time will pass faster and i can go home and sleep....lame rite....co had a linkway concert today....i guess it turned out all right ba....but made a few mistakes here and there....den co practice was not bad.....at least, the conductor seemed to think i did quite a gd job.....i think that;s great ba.....hahaz.....at least i have made some improvement ba...juniors today are quit onz lor....qi ling is so damn hilarious and outspoken....ant caitlin, well, let's juz say first impressions dun count....she's quite nice too....hahaz....at least, she dun criticize u if u make a mistake.....and they brought so much things to eat during practise....hahaz...thanx alot....me and mingyong were sitting down and talking,......den seeems that we realli missed being juniors.....missed hwee, wenchang and weiming....haiz...hope to see them soon but quite hard lar......

shifting instruments realli suxs lor...what a nightmare today

11:02 PM

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

......

*love is in the air*

10:47 PM

Monday, February 09, 2004

........

had PE today...hahaz...but it was rather slack lar....sianz.....but i feel much fitter now liaoz.....hahaz...is that a gd sign?.....i guess.....lessons as usual were boring and we juz sorta stoned thru everything....got back my econs test.....haiz.....nearly passed....the key word is nearly but still, did not pass.....haiz.....shall not think abt it or i'll bcum sian diaoz again....phy test tml....haven really sat down and studied....that's bad news.....but anyway, i was feeling quite down today.....hahaz....and when i went home.....met joyce aka shimu....she's a damn nice girl i guess....talked alot to ler....and well, what she say made sense to me.....but i dun know if i should do what she says......well, my mind is telling me one thing but my heart is telling another.....what does that mean anyway....

i guess i didn't know what i did at that moment.....i'm sorry if i hurt you.....but i guess u dun realli feel anything....that;s why u can walk away without even taking a second glance.....and it hurts....it hurts me that u dun even care at all....

6:24 PM

Saturday, February 07, 2004

.....

i'm finally home...yesterday was to tired to update lar...hahaz...but nothing much happened....except the horrendous thing we went through during PE....we ran like 3 plus km lor.....and i was running....but walked also lar....hahaz....now my legs are slight aching....i was so tired yesterday......hahaz.....and i went wif jeremy and irene to buy his bag....i tink it looks rather nice too.....had fun lar......btw, my parents are not as pissed as me as before liaoz....i wonder if it is good or bad....beats me.....and passed wenjie something yesterday....that gal arh.....realli miss her lar.....hmm...today got up early in the morning to go to school for the sexuality talk....i think it was quite interesting except for the abortion part.....realli changed my perspective on abortion....hahaz...

Ms stacey tan was like telling us lar.....dun use 'break up' as a form of emotional blackmail when u are in a relationship lar...i mean, all of us will hope that by doing this, the other party will try to hold you back.....but at times, u go too far and hurt the relation ship instead....and it made me realise a lot of things.....ppl like to be loved, to be cared for.....so u hurt the other person in the end....I guess the talk realli set me into thinking lar....like how you can treat a person so well when both of you are together....and how the person you trust can juz walk away without looking at you the moment you are together....i dun think anyone should give their 100% of commitment to anyone......the more you give, the more you hurt at the end...."Love is not a feeling, it is a commitment"

yup, after the talk, went for co prac until 4.30....damn long lor....haiyo...and i juz reached home.....what's the dif btw the weekend and a normal school day....i really wonder.....haahz....i keep banging into stuff lately...my leg is blue black now liaoz lor....sianz.....it will look terrible....and guess what, i'm running 3 km on monday again.....oh no...this is a nightmare.....and i haven even touched any homework now...i better go eat my diunner le....shows starting soon

i think i made a mistake.....by doing that

6:50 PM

Thursday, February 05, 2004

.......

after last night happenings.,...i am so dead tired today in school...screwed my econs test...realli, i'll be happy to be able to generate a pass.....and i am so damn serious....ok....maths s paper was cancelled.....yeah....and i got to go home early lar.,...slept for a long time and now, i've juz woke up.....hahaz.....finally getting to catch up on sleep liaoz.....school was as usual tiring....i have no idea why this routine seems to go on for ever till dunno when...me and baozie were laughing like mad during physics...i hope the tutor din notice lar.....haiz.....damn tired nowadays....the pressure and workload is definitely getting to me....i sorta miss wenjie nowadays...it's been almost a week since i last tok to her and so long since i met her.....it's realli hard to meet up with friends nowadays....haiz.....and i miss irene they all.....nvm, will get to see them tomolo, i hope....thanks a lot to those ppl in claz who put up wif me today...wasn;'t feeling too good tempered ( i am nv gd tempered anyway...)....and to hilda: dun be too upset k.....hope to tok to u soon.....i guess i gotto be going now,.......hurry and eat my dinner before my gastric acts up again.

7:23 PM

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

......

pissed off now....my blog entry was deleted lor....after like i spent half and hr complaining......ok.....co prac was realatively great....finally managed to sorta make some improvement...i guess the conductor noticed :).....shall say what happened.....i am so pissed with the 2 people at home.....that bombard me with questions the moment i step into the house....what the.....ok fine....they are my parents.....it's realli irritating....ya....." you can drop ur s paper if u want "....ya rite....i can juz imagine what they will say if i drop my s papers.....hahaz.....lame rite.....and guess what my dad...he say he;'ll wait to see my results at the end of the day......ya....like as if i have ever allowed that to happen since dunno when......i guess they dun even care abt me having a life....all they care about is that piece of paper with my results on top....isn;t there life besides that?....i have lived like this since young le lor.....and recently i am damn stressed....i feel so behind time and lagging in sleep.....but i guess i like the feeling of being occupied....sometimes i wonder if i do things for the sake of myself or for my parents....shit....and all i did was to remain quiet, i mean, it makes no difference if i answered back.....no difference at all...my life is screwed up.....if what i have is even considered a life..... school suxs lar.....but i'm glad i still have frens by my side to support me through.....

11:24 PM

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

......

hmm....quite a few days haven't post anything here le....leading kinda sian life....nothing much to say lar....spent the whole of sunday and monday at home doing tutorials and watching shows.....well, muz admit that had a comfortable weekend spent lar.....hahaz...busy catching up on sleep too...but today went school.....felt realli drained and tired.....also didn't know why....but tutorials and lectures seem endlessly long....haiz....den today almost late....haha.....but manage to tap my attendance card in time.....*whew*......then was xtremely happy during phy lect as the s paper lesson was postphoned (note:postphoned and not cancelled).......was realli relieved to be able to go home early....ok, maybe 5 is not exactly early but to me, it is lor......reached home early and began eating on left over new yr goodies.....(sigh)......and reading my sis storybook.....haven been to the library for ages liaoz....hahaz.....kinda childish book i guess....den went to take a afternoon nap....(note: one of the few days i can afford to take a nap)......hahaz....and now busy writing 2 econs essay....i shall not elaborate on the fact that i wrote the wrong essay during the weekend....i guess most ppl should be sleeping now le lar....better go complete my essay and AQ question......

11:20 PM