Saturday, August 30, 2003

life is so sian....went to the clinic to take blood for a full blood test....seems that the NKF health checkup says that i have a low haemoglobin level in my blood....so to play safe, went to check it out.....haiz....hope it is nothing too serious....had CO from like 9 to 5......sigh....damn tired le lar...jus reached home after 2 hrs of studying.....sianz.......with jeremy lar....hahaz....quite fun lar.....coz me cannot concentrate at home.....what i need now is a hot shower and a bit of the tv....den it will be back to my gp essay.....haiz......such a lame topic......sianz....i guess nowadays me realise that promos cumin soon le.....so more hardworking nowadays....hahaz....but i hope everything will be smooth and time can pass more quickly so i can enjoy life once more.

hmm.....today is teacher's day eve....so, yesterday, went with mingyong and baofei to shop at orchard lar....hahaz....quite fun and we took neoprints.......that camera was lk keep flashing without giving us ample time to react lor....i guess i wun be updating as much this whole month......today went back to anderson.......den quite fun.....catch up with the 4/1 ppl.....u guys are still e best......hahaz.....realli lucky to have such a awesome sec 4 claz ppl....at least the bunch of us are still crapping and hanging out lar....hmm....it was a fun day as NJ had a breakfast party lar.....den all of us brought food and all those stuffs.....quite fun actually.......den i was still suffering from the after effects of yesterday mass shopping....so i left earlier to go home and sleep......sleeping is my favourite pastime....nowadays....dun need to pay....dun need to think......hahaz.....den went to the amk libraray and sat there to study alone.......hmm....did quite a lot of stuff lar......it's easier to concentrate there i guess.......guess tomorrow going to study as well......really have to buck up and work harder le....tomolo got CO from like 9 to 3 lor......den after that it's back to tutorials......guess i'm really going to sit down and bother about my cca and academics for the next 2 mths or so........after that, it will be PW....sigh.....den will be ao chinese....den after that will be SATs....depressing but the list get longer....well, im will jia you and try to be happy....

haiz....long time no update le lar.....hahaz....tomorrow is the last school day of the week.......very happy now even though there's a physics test tomorrow....anyway going to fail one lar.....released at 12 plus today....den went to amk library to mug le lar....from 2 to 6.....haiz.....juz had piano lessons too....a bit sleepy now le....but i think still got 101 things to do.....die le lar...endless day....today so qiao....met the couple from weiji's claz 2 times....hahaz.....but i finished with physics le lar....i guessed....teachers day cumin le....lookin forward to going back to my sec school lar....i think it's the only thing i look forward to....after that...it'll be piaing for promos le.....haiz....my senior asked me today if i started studying le.....den i realised the severness of the situation....haiz.......shall start soon.....anyway, tomolo may be going shopping with mingyong and baofei.....hope it will be fun....by the way, we can see mars today....lk an orange star......oh ya, i'm addicted to jay chou's new album....alot of nice songs....contemplating whether to buy his cd....but like a bit expensive.....haiz....shall consider more......meanwhile.....happy slacking.

hmm...i am so damn pissed today......coz u know i went to register for the SAT.....den the place closed at 5.....in the end reach there at like 5.15.....haiz.....sigh......den now muz mail them the cheque.....but den quite fun lar today......we went to orchard together...me, mingyong, baozie, weibin, leonard, reuben and leonard....den shop around a bit lar....hahaz...looking for a water bottle that all of us can buy together.....sigh.....coz of the recent reports about cancer causing water bottles.....den so crappy lar today.......i think quite fun....coz i long time no go orchard le lar......mingyong and baofei was damn funny...too bad wei wei was nt there lar.....

i guess a lot have happened this week.....dun really have a lot of time to come update this blog....hahaz......hmm....juz wanna congrats wei wei for suceeding in sumthing......shan;t mention it here or i shall get killed by her.....but i really wish her all the best....i think she will make it.....will last lar......unlike me......nvm......den this week quite tough as a lot of tutorials piling up le.....but looking forward to the weekend to slack.....hahaz.....hmm....been in nj for nearly half a year le.....still miss aj lar....though not as much....but i;'m glad to have friends lk cora, jeremy, irene, weilun, blackie, weiji etc.....though now we are not as close le....but i still miss them a lot....miss all the stuff that we talk about......miss suaning each of us......sigh....but i have really learnt to adapt le lar....leant how to make the best out of the worst situation.......to look on e bright sight of everything.......to be more optimistic.......!

A Walk to Remember - Someday we'll know

Ninety miles outside Chicago,
Can't stop driving, I don't know why
Too many questions, I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to amelia earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the titanic cry?

Someday we'll know
if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
for the ninety-seventh time... tonight

Someday we'll know
if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday we'll know
why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
that I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watch the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

Someday we'll know
if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday we'll know
why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
that I was the one for you

i like this phrase ..."You love something and then one day it's suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow it doesnt stop your love. Maybe that's how you know it's the real thing. When it doesnt come with conditions and get-out clauses, when it doesnt have a best by date. When you just give your love, and never stop giving it, and know that you never will. That's when it is real..."

haiz...yesterday ended up studying with jeremy and cora....hmm...at least i completed my homework for the weekend....hahaz....goes to show how little homework i have......i guess i'm more tired and depressed then i am stressed lar......haiz.....yesterday i was hoping something would happen....i dunno.....but den i know it is impossible one lor.....sad.....i thought i was already over everything....but i was worng.....i am not over anything.......i think i cannot take it anymore le lor........juz throwing myself into my studies and not caring about anything else...........did you forget about the question that i asked you.........did you forget everything that you said to me?............
when will i see u again?

9:39 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2003

haiz...i went with weibin and baofei to donate blood today....spent a whole day freaking out about it....but still decided to continue with it as it;s for a good cause....and a good experience what.....den i was rejected.....bcoz of too little haemoglobin in my blood and too little iron....haiz.....in a way, kind of relieved lar.....weibin and baofei also rejected....coz they ate medication and was sick one week ago...hahaz....all of njc ppl wanted to slack....so all poned lessons to donate blood....excuses lar....hahaz....but den quite a lot of ppl went forward to donate lar......hmm....den today went to but a new pencil case....the old one too small le...so now in a happy mood.....hmm.....but got one more stupid econs essay....haiz

8:58 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

OH NO......i am very freaked out now.....our written report is due TOMMORROW.....and i still dun think it is ready yet....how now....think we need to sit down and discuss some more......die le lor......i am so stressed these 2 days....coz of pw....stupid reason....today went to orchard with shuang han to conduct that interview.....a bit pissed with that person we interviewed....well, at least she entertained us.....sigh....den minghong and jiaxuan poned the whole day to finish the written report...guess my group is not that bad after all.....sigh......den now me piaing the written report....haf to edit lk 2000 words lor....dun need to sleep le......sigh....how long more this is going to last.......at least tomolo, think i meeting cora and jeremy to study together lar....so in good mood now le lar....i think i better go le......bye
though i dun admit it....though i try not to show it.....i miss you in everyway

9:56 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003

haiz...pw sucks......i am so damn tired now le lor....got a whole stack of tutorials....pw deadline by wednesday.....haiz.....hoping that time passes quickly enough......den can hand up pw asap....i poned pe today to do maths lor....cannot believe it le......haiz.....i want to cry le......guess this week is going to be rather tough.......trying to stop thinking of certain things....to stay focused....but it's so hard.......

10:30 PM

Sunday, August 10, 2003

hmm....sunday nite le lar....feeling kinda peaceful and calm now.......i really like the song 'qing tian' by jay chou.....damn cool lyrics....okok....hmm...yesterday was quite fun....thought he first part of the day was like....dunno what to do lar....but thank all of them for buying cake and the very nice bear for me....it's at my bedside now......den at night....we went to watch the fountain at suntec....cora they all dedicated a song to me....den got laser words....very chio lor...i so gan dong.......i think suntec is my favourite place now le lar.....so nice....all the songs so nice...my first time there yesterday......sigh...den cora lost her hp....we lk idiots look all over the place but cannot find....i see her so sad....i also dunno what to say to her....

I wonder if there's a price to pay for everything.......i wonder if dreams do come true.......and if wishes do come true......sometimes i see everything around me...the people around me.....the loneliness i have.......the stack of tutorials i have to face......the stress i get from my parents......i really want to just sit down and break down......it's so difficult to put up a smiley face anymore.........so much have happened......and i really lose faith in myself.......where are you when i need you to light up the darkness around me?

10:33 PM

Friday, August 08, 2003

i feel so bad now.....even worse than i expected myself to feel......i think it really hurts when u care so much for a person....you consider that person needs and everything above urself.....and in the end, you realise that person does not even care for you......and any hope you had are all gone........sounds really depressing now....but i am depressed......i don't want anyone to pity or console me.......i just want the sadness to go away......the loneliness.....the empty feeling to go away.......hate myself for still considering about what you want, what you feel is better........and you not even giving a single thought of how i feel......not even telling me not to be sad..........can i turn back time to before 15 June 2003.......can i have the feeling i had now.........it feels as if nothing will ever get better now.......

10:56 PM

At the beginning

(Donna Lewis)
We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

(Richard Marx)
No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

(Chorus)
And Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

(Both)
We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(Chorus)
And Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

(Bridge)
Knew there was somebody somewhere
Like a light in the dark
Now I know that dreams will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

2:18 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2003

haiz......today after school went with weibin and mingyong they all.....go causeway pt to watch movie....the jack neo film ' home run '.....at first...me and mingyong went out together first....den took the bus from the wrong side...ended up going to queensway instead of woodlands....den me kena suan by her.....we got down the bus and walked to the other side......tok a lot on the way to woodlands....very pissed when i reached woodlands......cause sit in that stupid 961 for so long....sian diao le.......well, den eat a bit lar....den waited for the guys to come lor...they so late lor...hahaz....but the show was very nice lar....heartwarming and touching....den after that went to burger king for dinner....at 9 lor....den i juz reach home now....haiz....but it was fun today....jiaxuan kept telling us the ending of the show in the moddle of the movie....hahaz...so funny....den he looked damn pissed when he knew we were watching that movie....but overall...i tink we had fun lar....me looking forward to saturday.....den can go out with 1803 ppl......yeah....

11:33 PM

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

happy bday to myself....17 le....haiz....thank yu chun for leaving my gift at the door....really touching....and received so many well wishes from all my frens....really touched le.......i mean, 1 yr one time lor....haiz......den quite bored around school today lar....sigh.....den called esther to go for dinner....haiyz.....thank her for taking time off lar.....but quite fun also....even though only got the 2 of us....but talked about a lot of things...never treasure her as a partner until now.....really think that human beings are weird creatures....u dun treasure what is around you until u lose them....den you will start missing them.....and then you start regretting not treasuring them....i never thought me and esther will bcum so gd frens lor....so i think that the most impossible things may always still happen.....always keep an open mind.....oh ya...den reached home....receive a mgs from leonard....he say that even though he a bit cold to me lately....we still best frens...hahaz...den he say that though he dun show it....he treats me as a fren in the heart...i really touched by this mgs lor...though he nv gif me any gift....nv wish me directly......it really brightens up my day when he says this......nitez

10:16 PM

Monday, August 04, 2003

haiz....now in a very good mood.....coz today very 'zhuang xie' lor....saw so many people....hahaz.....extremely qiao lar...anyway, was going to meet wenjie for dinner mah......to celebrate my bday tomolo....shit.....17 le.....still yi shi wu cheng.....haiz....anyway, den saw xingni and xiaoqi.....after that weiji and his gang of friends lar....at that stupid kfc......den later ricky and alan walked past....den ended up eating dinner together....so funny....ricky told me a lot of stupid things lor.....den me, wenjie and alan laugh until like siao....rather fufilling day lar....hahaz.....just that i was being ignored by one of my friends at first....shan't say who that person is lar....haiz....so sickening....must ask somone not to ignore u....sad case......anyway, i think i am very happy today lor....see alan and ricky....so long no gather together le....den learnt a lot of interesting things.....used to take our friendship for granted.....

Wenjie gave me a card....very meaningful....and a bear with a star that represents hope....hahaz....really thoughtful of her to know that i like bears and ducks....hahaz.....muz go put it near my bedside le.....den go get a name for it too....shit...lk so bimbotic.....but like to say thanx 4 a million things to her.

10:22 PM

Sunday, August 03, 2003

why do people choose to avoid things than to face up to it......i have really no idea....maybe i am one of this kind of people too lar......i guess it hurts when someone avoids you......when the person actually waste time avoiding you than to use that same amount of effort to face you....what to do?.....life is like that

9:49 PM

morning has come......sunday le.....sian diao......very sian nowadays......no aims.....shld start mugging today.

10:46 AM

Saturday, August 02, 2003

sian diao....me wanna cry le.....juz now post a blog le.....den my com disconnect.....now must write again....long time no update le lar....went for breakfast with weiji today....so funny discussing about jean lee....i laugh until cannot make it....den afternoon went out with the 4/1 gang lar....quite fun.....heartwarming to see so many of my ex claz people.....maybe i have been too self absorbed in my own matters.....long time no see them le......really miss my sec 4 life.....it was simpler and more fun.

i guess alot of us has changed le lar....but one thing that haven change is our friendship.....i think i also changed a little on my perspective of things.....from 1 yr ago.....maybe that's called growing up.....hahaz....but didn't regret doing anythings that i have done before lar.....i now very happy...coz i got 2 more weeks........i guess.....i mean, maybe i am stupid lor....but dunno lar.....juz hoping....and look at the bright side.

it doesn't matter how difficult things get.....just matter that we can make it better....

10:51 PM