Thursday, June 28, 2007

4 more weeks to go to the end of this internship. i know i shouldn't be complaining as i'm lucky enough to get an internship this hols as well as to learn alot of new stuff. but deep down inside, i'm just very tired. 6 hours sleep a day is simply not enough. I'm half asleep whenever I board that train to expo and when I reach home, I'm just really tired. to think that only 2 months have past. makes me wonder how i'm ever to survive working in the future. though i hope i dun haf to travel 1.5 hrs to work like I do now.

it's very strange how experienced ppl expect you to be able to understand things quickly. either that or my brain has a slow processing speed. Nowadays when I hear ppl talk happily about what they want in the future, all the beautiful dreams they have, I just feel really tired. Working life is not what it is made out to be. The sheer amount of responsibilities is nerve wrecking sometimes. And the feeling of doing something wrong at work certainly is not very nice. I think I have much more to learn about handling the pressure when deadlines approaches. or maybe i should learn how to not panic.

I feel confused. On one hand, ppl at work are nice and I do get to learn alot. But when I wake up every morning, I feel a large surge of inertia, and that I rather remain in bed. Luckily i'm not working this friday due to my tooth operation. Finally can sit at home on a fri morning.

But once work ends, 2 weeks more and it'll be the start of the sem. I can't decide which is better, mugging for exams or internship. I'm just tired of both. As people graduate, they say their life looks brighter. Mine looks bleaker by the day. I think I should go figure what I really want.

i seemed to be blogging less and less, and that's cos when I reach home, I sit in front of the com and wonder what to write. 12 weeks of this hols will be spent in changi, and i have 5 more weeks to go. can't believe 7 weeks just flew past like that. i've come to realise how many people really dread work, early in the morning you'll see zombies in the train. in my office, when i arrive, they are all at work. when i leave, they are still at work. sigh, everyone's caught up in the rat race.

but this internship was really one hell of an experience. I'm happy to have crappy interns with me, a nice boss that gives us loads of opportunities (thank god i'm not force to do admin or filing), nice and friendly colleagues. and i've definitely learnt alot more. At least now I'm clear of what I want in the future, and how to handle certain unhappy stuff that occurs at work. But when the weekend comes, I seem to only remember the good things that happen at work. It's ironic how we interns complain abt having to go to work when we were the ones who wanted the internship in the first place. And the rest of the interns feel that I am crazy to want to do internship this hols and not count it as my VIP.

But i'm trying to learn some computer program by myself lately, to try to improve myself. not to mention kickboxing and pilates lessons, haa, they can be quite relaxing at times. exercising can really help to release stress sia. But in 5 weeks time, i'm going to leave my workplace, and I can't help but wonder how I will feel. Haix, sometimes i get too emotionally attached to things and people too easily.

on a lighter note, I went to the ZOO today, haa, long long time since i went and i was fun! tiring though, but i love seeing all the cute aninmals, haa, even went for a doggy show. and i want a dog....but i;ll go and adopt one from the SPCA though. Such a pity that ppl are importing dogs from overseas and here we are, having an animal shelter with forsaken animals. but going into the zoo cost damn expensive, my 15 bucks flew away liddat, but i guess they really require loads of funding for the animals.

and mango sale has past, zara sale coming up nxt.....shop shop shop